He doesn't seem to see that I do all the hoovering, dusting, clean bathrooms, changing bed clothes, washing etc.. To love your kids, you don't have a choice. Once he was home, he found a job working with the transportation department and was making enough money that we didn’t need to worry. At the end of your first post you mention that " I can't remember the last time I felt like a wife or felt wanted or loved", I wonder if he feels very similar, have you ever asked him how he feels about the relationship? Other factors have contributed over time, renos a huge debt a sick family member. I also spend most of my Thursday afternoon driving my son to various after school activities so this takes up half the day. Bobby points out that many wives resent their husbands because "they often feel frazzled, frustrated, and resentful about the higher level of mental energy and material energy they are expected to devote to their household, career and families." So I began to wonder, is my husband depressed? It makes me feel lonely. He was always stressed from working long hours, he never had energy to do anything when he came home, and I always had to walk on eggshells around him. Your privacy is important to me. Here's a backstory. He is being unreasonable and I think maybe you need to make it clear to him that you are not willing to continue living like you have been, your son is your priority and it is so important for him to have a happy home. I found out I was invading his space. I think he's being very unreasonable. It wasn't clear to me from your post if your husband resents the lack of income you could provide if you were working, or resents the fact that your ''job'' appeals to him more and he wishes he could stay home instead and have you work. RELATED: My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink. I wonder if that lack of closeness within your relationship is making other things so much harder to cope with, have you thought about relationship counselling or maybe a course: He left his last job without informing me to be an entrepreneur. He does not mind when he sees the money coming in, but thinks it is crazy to do something on the side when I have a perfectly good outside the home job. I also think he is a bit OCD when it comes to cleaning and his idea of tidy is not really the same as mine which doesn't help. my husband resents me, but the weird thing is that it seems he has some distorted thoughts and misinterpretations that he believes to be true. I threaten him and nag or ***** about his drinking. Well we have actually … The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Splitting up has crossed my mind but I would really rather try and work through this. He doesn't seem to see that I do all the hoovering, dusting, clean bathrooms, changing bed clothes, washing etc.. (TBH, these gift ideas also work for dads, brothers-in-law and beyond—2020 holiday shopping just got way easier.) If they aren't youngsters then I'm surprised you haven't had a little job going by now. I’m showing him, through the communication that we’ve worked on, that this marriage is a partnership, not a situation where he does it all and I stand idly by. It seems that your husband has a few different issues going on and needs some direction as to how he can start resolving them. I knew my husband wouldn’t listen—and I certainly didn’t want to sit with a complete stranger who doesn’t know us and make accusations like “my husband resents me.” So I tried looking online for a counseling alternative and found this website. Hubby earns good money in city and resents me earning small money for working 2 days a week locally. Husband resents me (78 Posts) Add message | Report. My husband claims he is ok with me not working but once in awhile he will throw it in my face during an argument. A couple of times I have forgotten about a couple of dishes in the sink and he seems to only see this and takes this to mean i have done nothing all day. This week don't do any housework or shopping etc and when he wants to know why the house is a mess and you have no food in the cupboards tell him you are making a point. This week don't do any housework or shopping etc and when he wants to know why the house is a mess and you have no food in the cupboards tell him you are making a point. How old are the kids? I currently babysit 2 to 3 kids per week to bring in extra money, usually between 250 to 300 dollars a week. Over time, unhealed wounds create a relationship in which there’s no space left to be heard, ... And once again, he presents with no rebuttal on her part. But he earns double what we need to live on, we have no mortgage and my job means we have no childcare issues, and I can look after house, do all housework cooking etc and be there 100% for our son. boyfriend taking a long time to get divorced. Kurt and I married young, right after high school, and he went into the army while I went to community college. Traditional marriage counseling just wasn’t for us. Before I get home every day, I have to brace myself for what I think might happen throughout the night. I began to worry when this new behavior seemed to get worse with time. Please help! The answer to that is to leave him.. Blunt and to the point I know but life is to short and children only want there mum's company for so long. My dh is very unhappy in his work and has been since I met him. He compares me to his ex of 8 years and says she was much better than i am. So I tell him to stop drinking and if he keeps it up I will leave him. The programs outlined on this online counseling alternative encouraged strong communication in our marriage above all else, and showed us in a way that was easy to understand, just why we need to talk to each other about our problems. He and his wife were seperated for 2 years and then their divorce was finalized last year in August. My husband resents me so much because he says I try to control him. He is being unreasonable and I think maybe you need to make it clear to him that you are not willing to continue living like you have been, your son is your priority and it is so important for him to have a happy home. Just a few months before this all started, I was a stay at home wife. 0 0. bezzymate. Not enough sex. Living With a Resentful or Angry Partner It's hard to get an angry person to change without becoming one yourself. Hi Kerry Luckily, I was able to find a better job for myself that meant Kurt wouldn’t have to try and do everything on his own. We have a 3 yr old daughter and a son who just turned 1 in August. A couple of times I have forgotten about a couple of dishes in the sink and he seems to only see this and takes this to mean i have done nothing all day. Anyway, about two years ago (my youngest was in 1st grade at this time) my husband and I got into a huge fight and he called me a mooch. When we’re both getting ready for work in the morning, we rarely talk. My Husband Resents Me. When I told him the good news he got defensive and said that he had everything under control. Your husband is treating you like a child when he scrutinises what you have been doing on your days off, you are an adult who is free to do what you want. Nothing i do is ever good enough for him and he says that i do not make him happy. Anyway, he now resents the fact that I only work 3 days a week and expects me on the 2 days I am off to do nothing but house work from 9am - 5pm as if it was a working day. My husband always complains about me being a stay at home mother. Tweet. He has been to counseling for it but now he refuses to go. He doesn't seem to accept any responsibility for the way things have become between us. The marriage tips that you’ll receive could save your marriage just like it did for mine. Hate my husband working away, am I being fair? Best wishes. Kurt’s a very proud guy and doesn’t like asking for help, but I knew things might get even harder for him when I learned that he was up for a promotion that came with even more responsibility. My husband used to tell me all the time that I had to have a job. Jobs but they never lasted long secure & Confidential - I think might happen throughout the.. Worked for more than anything else was Kurt and I married young, right after high school and! Claims he is taking things for granted, it ’ s up to you to show and! Has told me I 'm surprised you have n't had a few months all of our problems.... 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